Father’s Day is a tough one for me and has been almost my entire life. See, my father died when I was a little girl and he died tragically and unexpectedly. When I was a kid I was upset at the time of his death, but quickly went on to playing with dolls and things. Every once in a while I would get upset that I didn’t have a dad like the other kids, but I always had my Mommy to show me love. One year I even bought her a Father’s Day gift.
The thing is that a mother’s love is so much different than love from your daddy. My mom is amazing, but she can’t teach me things that a dad can. For years I felt like I hadn’t missed anything. I learned a lot about my dad and the mistakes he made…I became bitter and figured that I was better off without him or anyone like him. I realized that I was holding on to this pain and resentment and decided that I needed to forgive in order to be happy. So I did just that. I forgave my dad back in college and since then I’ve felt this huge piece of my life missing. I had blocked so much out over the years and all of these feelings just came into my life. One thing I know for sure is that my Daddy loved me. It’s been hard growing up without a dad. I missed him when I went to my one and only father daughter dance. I missed him when I graduated from high school and college. I missed him when I bought my first car. I missed him when I walked down the aisle. I miss him when I see my friends interact with their dads. I miss him every day.
Dad, I wish we had more time together and I wish you could see the life that I live. Today is going to be hard, but I will get through, like I do every year. Eventually it will get easier and thankfully I have God, who makes everything a little easier. If you have your dad in your life, cherish him for those of us who are fatherless. If you’re a father, please stay in your children’s lives. Fatherhood is such a beautiful thing and should be cherished.