So, about Father’s Day…

Father’s Day is a tough one for me and has been almost my entire life.  See, my father died when I was a little girl and he died tragically and unexpectedly.  When I was a kid I was upset at the time of his death, but quickly went on to playing with dolls and things.  Every once in a while I would get upset that I didn’t have a dad like the other kids, but I always had my Mommy to show me love.  One year I even bought her a Father’s Day gift.

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The thing is that a mother’s love is so much different than love from your daddy.  My mom is amazing, but she can’t teach me things that a dad can.  For years I felt like I hadn’t missed anything.  I learned a lot about my dad and the mistakes he made…I became bitter and figured that I was better off without him or anyone like him.  I realized that I was holding on to this pain and resentment and decided that I needed to forgive in order to be happy.  So I did just that.  I forgave my dad back in college and since then I’ve felt this huge piece of my life missing.  I had blocked so much out over the years and all of these feelings just came into my life.  One thing I know for sure is that my Daddy loved me.  It’s been hard growing up without a dad.  I missed him when I went to my one and only father daughter dance. I missed him when I graduated from high school and college.  I missed him when I bought my first car.  I missed him when I walked down the aisle.  I miss him when I see my friends interact with their dads.  I miss him every day.

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Dad, I wish we had more time together and I wish you could see the life that I live.  Today is going to be hard, but I will get through, like I do every year.  Eventually it will get easier and thankfully I have God, who makes everything a little easier.  If you have your dad in your life, cherish him for those of us who are fatherless.  If you’re a father, please stay in your children’s lives.  Fatherhood is such a beautiful thing and should be cherished.

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