Let’s Do It All Again…and Again…Forever.

Well, hello there!

After a much needed break and rest, I’m finally ready to talk about how amazing A Look in the Mirror turned out to be.  I’m still very much in awe of God’s faithfulness to me and how He has pushed me forward this year.  If you’re not aware, I relinquished all rights to my life this year and gave it over to God…and it’s been one of the best decisions ever.

For our last meeting, the girls were asked to say speech, written by them, describing how the program has helped and the difference it made in their lives.  Waterworks.  I cried like a baby because these girls have made such an impact on my life and all had such beautiful words to say.  I’m so proud of them because they faced their fears and did a little public speaking in front of their family and friends.

After we spilled out hearts (and eyes) we enjoyed each other for the last time and had some food and fellowship.  My wonderful friend, Mario Turner, captured both video and photos from the event!

IMG_3400IMG_3402IMG_3415IMG_3426IMG_3450IMG_3367IMG_3354IMG_3390

 

If you’re interested in bringing this program to your place of business you can do so using the link below:

A Look in the Mirror Contact Form

Tell Me Where Your Worth Lies: Weeks 3-4

So, hey y’all!

I know I was gone last week, but I’m feeling much better and ready to give you another recap of A Look in the Mirror, weeks 3 and 4.

Week Three

During Week 3, we talked about our emotions and reactions to the things that happen around us.  We played a little game of charades, where we examined what our emotions look like in action.  We talked about times that made us feel that way and discussed how to work through our emotions.

We also talked about perception vs. reality.  People will tell you that you are something that you’re not.  Ugly.  Fat.  Stupid.  But the beautiful thing about living life is that we make our own realities.  Who cares what people say about us?!  As long as we know who we are…we’ll be just fine.  The girls made affirmations that remind them of exactly who they are.

Week Four

This is most likely my favorite week so far.  We talked about self confidence and our worth.  I asked each girl to discuss their worth and how that relates to the people we choose to surround ourselves with.   All class we sat in a circle of positivity, so that we have can an honest discussion and so that we can see each other when we’re talking.

We talked about some tough stuff: school, bullying, confidence.  We also did the work.  We discussed what confidence means to us.  Each girl talked about what negative and positive impacts their friends have on them.  This allows us to really analyze who we’re surrounded by and how they affect our lives.

We ended class by sharing positive thoughts about each other.  Each girl stood in the middle of the circle and was given positive thoughts by the others who remained outside of the circle.  Admittedly, I had no plans on participating myself.  I felt like this was an activity for my girls, but they encouraged me to participate.  After a terrible work week and stressful home week (our home needs MAJOR repair after the hurricane) it was nice to hear such positive things from them.

This program has rejuvenated something in me that my regular work doesn’t allow: freedom to feel.  As adults we’re told to swallow our feelings, to keep it moving, to keep pushing and to keep making money, but following my dreams and having something to give to these girls has given me a joy that I cannot describe.

If you’re interested in bringing this program to your place of business you can do so using the link below:

A Look in the Mirror Contact

Tell Me Something Good: Week 2

Hey y’all!

I’m back again with A Look in the Mirror!  This week we focused on controlling the things that we can and accepting the things that we cannot.  The girls did some activity sheets that asked some of the harder questions: what makes you feel bad?  What makes you feel good?  What is something that you don’t enjoy about yourself?

The point of this exercise was to learn what things we can control about what effects us every day.  Can you control if someone is mean to you?  Of course not, but our response can be controlled.  We can accept that mean people exist, but we don’t have to go to their level and be mean back to them.  Kill ’em with kindness!

44183301_415994492267133_2445211957779759104_n

If the girls can identify their triggers early in life, it’ll make their interactions with others a little easier.  They will be able to identify someone negatively affecting them and be able to remove them from their lives.  Next week we discuss more triggers to our emotions and our responses to them.

43952021_415994408933808_2160397566687051776_n

If you’re interested in bringing this program to your place of business you can do so using the link below:

A Look in the Mirror Contact Form

She believed she could, so she figured she’d at least try: Week 1

Hey y’all!

So get this…ya girl went ahead and launched her self esteem program!

Image result for yay meme funny

I’ve been excited, stressed, nervous and just unbelievably happy!  I can’t believed I actually am doing something I’ve set out to do.  I’ve combated laziness and procrastination and this week I started my program with a group of nine beautiful young ladies.

Each week we have different objectives and lessons to focus on that bring us back to overarching goal of loving ourselves fully.  This week we did introductions and we got to know each other.  We played icebreakers that allowed the girls to forge a bond and learn to communicate with each other.

I can’t wait to spend the next  several weeks with these girls!  They’re a vibrant group filled with questions and such beautiful hearts.  I’ll be posting here every week to recap the sessions as they happen.

If you’re interested in bringing this program to your place of business you can do so using the link below:

A Look in the Mirror Contact Form

Tuh…I Didn’t Ask For Your Two Cents.

There’s a new therapeutic method that I have been trying lately and it’s been life changing.  It’s not a new thing for me, but it’s highly recommend to you all.  It’s called Minding Your Own Business, or MYOB for short.

Image result for memes about minding your own business

I’m a huge advocate and you should be too!  Gone are the days of inquiring and asking about things that don’t concern you.  A short list of items that don’t concern you:

  1. Any woman’s uterus.  It’s rude to ask when someone’s having kids.  PERIOD.
  2. Any person’s bank account that does not belong to you.
  3. Business ventures that you have not invested money into.  Keep your opinion, b.
  4. Why someone is doing anything (if they ain’t yours, it’s ain’t your biz)
  5. Any adult’s outfit choice.  Mind yours, you didn’t buy it.

The list goes on and on, but you get the point: MIND YOURS.

Image result for minding my business

I know you’re saying “But, Ashley, I’m good at minding my business, but what do you do when someone is minding my business too?”

Short answer –> TEACH THEM.

Sometimes you gotta teach people how to mind their own business.  If they ask you something that does not pertain to them, it’s okay to kindly decline to share.  If you do this enough times the behavior can be learned.    People’s business spreads faster than anything, but if you’re not telling yours who would know?

Image result for minding my business

“But Ashley, I’m a fan of minding my business, but people tell me their’s because they want to unload”

I, too, am an active listener…but, the key to being a good listener is ONLY LISTENING.  If someone confides in you and tells you something, keep it with yourself.  It’s possible to keep your business and any other business someone has given you to your self.  It’s called being a confidant.

So please, people…if you’re not trying to help change someone’s situation, just don’t get in their business.  If you’re not offering helpful solutions to their problems or if they’re not confiding in you, just mind yours.  If you have poor intentions just mind your business.  Some things you just don’t need to know.

Protect your peace, honey!

Listen…life is nuts maintenant, but guess who is thankful to be working towards something!

So, I am really good at extending myself to things that do not serve me and I’m good at holding on to relationships for longer than I need to.  These are my confessions.

I am also a magnet for people who need a hug and a friend, but sometimes maintaining relationships with people who are in repair can be draining, and I don’t think that it’s selfish to put yourself first sometimes.  So, I’ve lived by the following rules for the past few months:

  1. Will the world end if I don’t attend?

  2. Is it going to cause me stress and a very large mess?

  3. Am I going to have to talk through my feelings afterwards?

Is it worth it to get the short end of the stick all the time or should you care for yourself?

Image result for put yourself first meme

GIRL, IF YOU DON’T PUT YOURSELF FIRST!

Of course it’s easier said than done, but it’s so much easier done once said.  You’re more inclined to do the things you speak about.  No more putting everyone else’s feelings before yours.  Who’s going to take care of you?  Your needs come first because you wake up and lay down with yourself every day.  Put yourself first and protect your peace, honey!

Anxiety on fleek!

Hey hey people!

So, let’s be real for a minute.  Have you ever felt like you were thrown into a challenge with no armor, no weapon, no footing, no ANYTHING?!  This has been my week!  I feel like I’m dangling on the edge with one foot on the platform and it’s so scary!  Mix anxiousness, with imposter syndrome and what do you get?  Anxiety on fleek this week, okurrr?

Personally, when I feel uncomfortable or unsure it affects not only my performance and anxiety, but also my self-esteem.  It feels like I can’t do anything right when my performance suffers, and in turn I feel like I’m not good enough.  Talk about a downer, right?

Image result for falling meme

So what’s one to do when that happens?  How do you land on both feet?  Well, I’ll tell ya.

Image result for relax meme

Take a deep breath and close your eyes for a few minutes.  It helps to reset your mind and organize your thoughts.  There have been countless times where I have to step away from my desk and take a walk just to keep from freaking out!  And that’s okay!  Mini freak outs are okay because they’re temporary, but realize that you’ve prepared for the place you’re in and now it’s time to show and prove.

Image result for get back up

We ALL fall and scrape our knees.  Let your wounds tell the story.  Nothing that’s worthwhile EVER comes easy…it comes with bumps, bruises and scabs.  Renew your mind and take care of yourself first.  You cannot be valuable to anyone else if you’re not taking care of you.  So, it’s okay to fail and it’s okay to be anxious and worried and to lose your footing.  Just make sure you don’t give up.  That is how you land on both feet.

The F Word

Hey y’all!

So today we’re discussing the F word…that’s right.  Forgiveness.  I think it’s quite intriguing how we, as people, shy away from talking about forgiveness.  It’s such a life changing experience.  Watch below as I talk about my dealings with forgiveness:

 

While forgiveness is a great route to freedom, don’t forget that anyone or anything that is toxic to your life is not needed.  Like I mentioned in the video, forgiveness starts and ends in the heart.  There are instances where we may forgive someone who is very toxic to our well-being.  You do not have to keep this person in your life!  Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation.  It’s okay to leave toxic people out of your life if they can cause harm to you.

I hope this has touched you.  Keep me posted on how it goes!

He makes ALL things new…okurrr!

Hey darlings!

So, I’ve been super busy with things that I love to do and this post serves as an update to life!  I’ve discussed on here before the distress with my job and how I have been waiting for something greater.  After the last unpleasant incident I decided to focus solely on my God given gifts.  I have a knack for planning and organizing events and things and I also always have a new idea.  I also like to use my experiences to help others going through the similar things.  So…

drumroll

I’ve decided to buy my blog domain name!

I know it doesn’t sound major, but it means that I’m willing to invest money into myself…which in turn means that I believe the things I do are of value to this space.  That’s big FOR ME.  Who knew that I’d ever be confident enough in myself to take steps like this?  If you would have told me this 10 years ago I would not have believed you.

download

I’m also in the process of creating the curriculum for a self-esteem program for children and teens.  Once I focused more on God and the gifts that he has placed in me, my whole outlook changed.  I’m grateful for my gifts and I’ve been enjoying this newness.  I’m also trying to blog more and post more videos and things, so be sure to follow this blog and also my YouTube.  I’ve made updates to this wordpress site so take a gander.  As usual, thanks so much!  Even if no one ever reads my blog…at least I tried.

Let’s Chat!

This week I got a chance to relax and reflect on life and all the joy and pain it brings.  I thought about all that led up to my life today, and I felt compelled to share.  I’m not too shy about sharing my journey to a better Ashley, but I often hear a lot of the same things when I share.  So, I decided to make a video and talk about my journey and to shed some light on self-esteem, self-worth and self-love.